Unrelated Bullet Point Updates

My other Law School Bestie, who I shall call Baby B (we all call him that in real life too) thinks one update a week is not good. A lot of stuff happens, but I didn't want to over-blog. Maybe I should keep it at one post every 3 or 4 days. Anyway, here's some stuff that's going on.

• I got placed in the legal department of Ace Hardware Corporation for my internship. At first I was a little confused, because I thought it was a small company. But, Baby B did some Googling and apparently they are located in over 70 countries around the world, and in all 50 states. They're a $12.5 billion dollar company! I probably shouldn't have been so quick to whine. It's going to be an 8:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. workday which kind of sucks, but oh well. Also, I'll be living at home, not in the city. I love my family, but I love the structure of having my own place. All in all, packed lunches, free evenings and $6k is not a bad deal. And I think the experience of working with the in-house counsel at a huge corporation is going to be great.
  

• The 1L "Meet the Employers Reception." What can I say about that, except that we were all aware that we were "hustlin'." And we asked each other how the hustlin' was going. We also got some lovely eggrolls and little sandwich wraps and cookies. Seriously, a networking event can NEVER be a total waste because there is free food and drinks if you are so inclined. Highlights? Our little charmingly latin career services guy riding up and down the escalator with a camcorder. All career services people coming and physically breaking up any law students talking to each other. The girls in little tiny thigh-high skirts was fun too, especially when my adviser came up to me and my Law School Bestie and said we were great examples of pantyhose that looked like we were wearing pantyhose. Then she told us about pulling aside girls in small skirts and other people who "stink and need to take a shower." Epic win.

• Ran for SBA Diversity Rep and got so nervous during my speech that my voice CRACKED. It was horrible. Especially since there were a couple of people I dislike there. The good news? My opponent didn't even bother to show up! Eagerly waiting election results.
  

• Went to lunch at the Plymouth Restaurant with Baby B and my Law School Bestie. It is across from us, on Plymouth Court and Van Buren, incidentally located next to the Chicago Bar Association and John Marshall Law School. They had a sandwich called the John Marshall. Baby B goes "No way am I ordering the John Marshall!" Other notable B quote: "Can you imagine someone paying us $200 to do anything? Why would they do that?"

• Went to see a live taping of America's Got Talent auditions with Bestie, B, and B's lady friend. Bestie was awesome and got us tickets. We were RIGHT behind the judges, meaning we are going to be on TV. We were basically told we weren't allowed to leave because "this shot cannot change." We were also told to "go apeshit" regardless of whether we liked or disliked the act. So basically we had to get on our feet and scream "boo", give the act an "x" with our arms, or motion them off the stage if we didn't like them. If we liked them we had to get on our feet, scream "woo", and fist pump while chanting "Vegas" over and over. There was an amazing opera singer named Carlos, who is going to be America's answer to Susan Boyle, they said he was the best singer they had ever seen. The worst two acts were the last two, a civil engineer dancing on a surfboard, and a guy who wanted to projectile sneeze his snot 50 feet, and failed. Also, if you watch the show and they air the bellydancers, and you hear an Arab-style catcall of "leleleleleleleeeeee," that was me!
  

I love my life. Back to studying for finals!

Crazy Depends on The Context

I occasionally wonder if the fine City of Chicago is simply full of more crazy people than in the suburbs. Either that or I have the fortune or misfortune (depending on how you look at it) of encountering them at an increasingly higher frequency than I used to.

Our brilliant and humorous contracts professor once quoted the existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sarte when he said "Hell is Other People." I think he may be right.

Today at volunteering I had to take attitude from a client who just didn't understand why a criminal sexual assault could not be taken off his record. Then I had a woman complain about how long she had to wait. Oh, I'm sorry. Forgive me for taking so long to sort through your multiple arrests, chart out your case dispositions, check your eligibility for expungement, sealing or partial sealing, fill out your petition to seal, order to seal, and your financial circumstances for a fee waiver. I didn't have to attend a 4-hour training session to learn how to do that. It's so easy, in fact, that's why you don't even need me here to do it for you, for free. What's that? Who's that lady that needs to approve the paperwork before I hand it to you to submit to the clerk? That lady is the supervising attorney who helps out people like you as her career, despite the fact that she is brilliant and qualified enough to take a six-figure job at a law firm.

Forgive us rude, ignorant people for making you wait so long for this common courtesy. All sarcasm aside, I just can't fathom how someone can feel so entitled or behave so rudely towards the help desk staff. We're providing an option that is easier than doing the paperwork yourself, and far cheaper than hiring attorney, which realistically most of our clients would never be able to do.

Then I went over to Arby's across the street from school for some lunch before Criminal Law. Sitting there minding my own business, this guy walks in (sagging pants, chains, do-rag and hat) stops....walks a little more...stops...looking at me the whole time. Then he proceeds to say "Dayummmm....did I just hit the jackpot?! Girrrrlllll you fine as hell!" I sort of looked up and rolled my eyes, and he says "Hang on, Ima go get a pen, Ima go get a pen right now." I lied and said I had a boyfriend, and he goes "Whas dat, I dunno what dat is," I rolled my eyes again and he walked out while screaming "When I get rich, Ima get a girl like you, when I get me some benjamins, Ima find a girl like you."

For the record, he didn't buy any food.

Then I went to criminal law, where we discussed a rape that occurred in a bar while other men watched and cheered. The discussion moved to legal obligations to act and whether cheering someone on could constitute "aiding and abetting" under the law. A boy in our class raised his hand and said that would take things too far because (wait for it, wait for it)

People cheer people on during barfights, which are technically crimes

AND

Barfights happen every day just like people go grocery shopping every day

THEN

People would be criminally liable for cheering on a barfight

AND

We all know that's just unfair

My law school bestie raised her hand and said "yes grocery shopping and barfights both happen every day, but grocery shopping serves a social utility, you HAVE to eat, you don't HAVE to fistfight." This other girl (who is very eloquent and would make an excellent litigator) said "yeah murders happen every day too but that doesn't mean you're allowed to cheer them on."

Yeah. Stuff like that happens in class. I don't know how or why. And while those are eye-roll moments, they make law school more interesting and bearable.

And speaking of crazies, On the Record in Cook County has some great, actual quotes from court proceedings in Cook County. Check this one:

Judge- (to person brought in on arrest warrant) Sir, we have checked your file and the records, and since you misrepresented yourself to this court when you were first brought out before me, I am sentencing you to a year in jail.

Defendant- WHAT?!

Judge- Just kidding! We checked the file and you were right. You will be released today.


Maybe craziness is kinda fun after all. Kurt Vonnegut once said "The insane, on occasion, are not without their charms."

*Insert Evil Cackle Here*

My Full Friday (and Thursday to a lesser extent)

Maybe not doom-filled, but utterly insane for sure.

On Thursday, I went to the APALSA Banquet from 5:30 to 8:30 when I should have been working on my trial brief that was due the next day. I was running in the special election for Banquet Chair. Had I submitted my desire to run on time, I would have been uncontested and made it for sure. But alas I didn't, and I ran against the girl who lost for the President position, and she won. That's ok, I still had a blast!

Finished my trial brief at 3 a.m. that night and went to bed. I woke up at 7 to shower and took a cab to school, printed my trial brief and took a cab to the Daley Center for my second shift at the expungement help desk (see previous post for details). It was not as peachy as the last shift, and I made some stupid little mistakes and asked some stupid questions and I think the supervising attorney I worked with this time was NOT impressed. That's ok, I have another shift on Wednesday where I will be less sleep deprived.

Then I went to class from 1:00 to 2:45 where we got a little competitive in a quiz about how to correctly cite things based on The BlueBook (also known as Satan's handiwork). My team was called Trivia Newton John and we came in at a solid second. I got a KitKat out of it which was good. The awesome news NO MORE WRITING ANYTHING FOR LEGAL WRITING CLASS TILL FALL SEMESTER.

Then I had my welcome reception at 5 o'clock for the ACC Internship at DLA Piper (again, see previous post). I thought it was business casual attire but a former intern recommended I go in a suit, so between 2:45 and 5:00 I purchased a suit, ironed it, put on makeup, and made it to DLA Piper in time. They had great a great Mediterranean/Middle Eastern food spread, and all of the attorneys were really nice and so accomplished. It was a little intimidating. Unfortunately the attorney from Accenture, where I want to work, wasn't there. Which is too bad because apparently he's Indian and runs an orphanage in Africa, so we would have had plenty to talk about.

Anxiously waiting my internship placement!

In other news, I have lost my CTA UPass, in addition to my DePaul I.D.

Have to write about the Barrister's Ball and the insanity of this week...next post. Coming soon.

Of Criminals and Corporations

A little belated, I need to be better about this!

So anyway, I got the job! They told me it would take a week to get back to me, but I had my interview on a Friday and they called me on Monday. I don't know which corporation I'm being placed in yet. I have a welcome reception at DLA Piper on April 16th where I will meet the mentors, employers, and other eleven interns.

Over spring break I also had my first day volunteering at the Cabrini Green Legal Aid Expungment Help Desk at the Daley Center.

There's a lot of rules and guidelines, it's a little complicated but I'll explain in brief. If someone was arrested for certain minor crimes and released without charge or found not guilty, and a certain time period has passed, you can help them file a petition to expunge their criminal record. If that goes through, nobody will be able to see the record, it's essentially destroyed. If they aren't eligible for expungement they are often eligible to have their record sealed, which basically means private employers can't see the record, but the government and law enforcement can.

I know some people feel that these people are criminals and that they should not be helped. In fact, I used to think the same way. I've changed my mind since learning more and working with some of these people. In our legal system, we are innocent until proven guilty. Should someone who was mistakenly arrested and released without charge or found innocent at trial bear the stigma of that error for his or her whole life? I don't think so.

To that, you could counter and say a pattern of arrests, despite the fact that there was no conviction, probably means the person is an "unsavory character." But that's not really my judgment call. A person with bleak chances for employment is more likely to commit crimes than someone who can get a job. Most of the people I helped did not have any arrests later than the early 1990s. All they wanted for the most part was simple jobs at a restaurant or a gas station.

It was rewarding to be able to tell them they were eligible for a sealing or expungement. I did see one woman break down into tears because she was not eligible for either procedure because of a drug -related conviction years ago. She couldn't find work and she had three children. I felt horrible for her. She wasn't my client, but it was still disappointing that we could not help her. The supervising attorney did manage to refer her to a list of employers who overlook certain minor offenses like her drug charge.

I hope that I can continue to deliver good news when I volunteer again next week!