Crazy Depends on The Context

I occasionally wonder if the fine City of Chicago is simply full of more crazy people than in the suburbs. Either that or I have the fortune or misfortune (depending on how you look at it) of encountering them at an increasingly higher frequency than I used to.

Our brilliant and humorous contracts professor once quoted the existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sarte when he said "Hell is Other People." I think he may be right.

Today at volunteering I had to take attitude from a client who just didn't understand why a criminal sexual assault could not be taken off his record. Then I had a woman complain about how long she had to wait. Oh, I'm sorry. Forgive me for taking so long to sort through your multiple arrests, chart out your case dispositions, check your eligibility for expungement, sealing or partial sealing, fill out your petition to seal, order to seal, and your financial circumstances for a fee waiver. I didn't have to attend a 4-hour training session to learn how to do that. It's so easy, in fact, that's why you don't even need me here to do it for you, for free. What's that? Who's that lady that needs to approve the paperwork before I hand it to you to submit to the clerk? That lady is the supervising attorney who helps out people like you as her career, despite the fact that she is brilliant and qualified enough to take a six-figure job at a law firm.

Forgive us rude, ignorant people for making you wait so long for this common courtesy. All sarcasm aside, I just can't fathom how someone can feel so entitled or behave so rudely towards the help desk staff. We're providing an option that is easier than doing the paperwork yourself, and far cheaper than hiring attorney, which realistically most of our clients would never be able to do.

Then I went over to Arby's across the street from school for some lunch before Criminal Law. Sitting there minding my own business, this guy walks in (sagging pants, chains, do-rag and hat) stops....walks a little more...stops...looking at me the whole time. Then he proceeds to say "Dayummmm....did I just hit the jackpot?! Girrrrlllll you fine as hell!" I sort of looked up and rolled my eyes, and he says "Hang on, Ima go get a pen, Ima go get a pen right now." I lied and said I had a boyfriend, and he goes "Whas dat, I dunno what dat is," I rolled my eyes again and he walked out while screaming "When I get rich, Ima get a girl like you, when I get me some benjamins, Ima find a girl like you."

For the record, he didn't buy any food.

Then I went to criminal law, where we discussed a rape that occurred in a bar while other men watched and cheered. The discussion moved to legal obligations to act and whether cheering someone on could constitute "aiding and abetting" under the law. A boy in our class raised his hand and said that would take things too far because (wait for it, wait for it)

People cheer people on during barfights, which are technically crimes

AND

Barfights happen every day just like people go grocery shopping every day

THEN

People would be criminally liable for cheering on a barfight

AND

We all know that's just unfair

My law school bestie raised her hand and said "yes grocery shopping and barfights both happen every day, but grocery shopping serves a social utility, you HAVE to eat, you don't HAVE to fistfight." This other girl (who is very eloquent and would make an excellent litigator) said "yeah murders happen every day too but that doesn't mean you're allowed to cheer them on."

Yeah. Stuff like that happens in class. I don't know how or why. And while those are eye-roll moments, they make law school more interesting and bearable.

And speaking of crazies, On the Record in Cook County has some great, actual quotes from court proceedings in Cook County. Check this one:

Judge- (to person brought in on arrest warrant) Sir, we have checked your file and the records, and since you misrepresented yourself to this court when you were first brought out before me, I am sentencing you to a year in jail.

Defendant- WHAT?!

Judge- Just kidding! We checked the file and you were right. You will be released today.


Maybe craziness is kinda fun after all. Kurt Vonnegut once said "The insane, on occasion, are not without their charms."

*Insert Evil Cackle Here*